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In this video men's style, grooming, fitness, relationship and lifestyle expert, Aaron Marino of http://www.iamalpham.com http://www.aaronmarino.com http://www.peteandpedro.com, shares with you 10 tips for dealing with relationship insecurity. Relationships are hard enough without being super paranoid all the time. These 10 tips will help you handle your insecurity and allow you to focus on the amazing and beautiful person you have fallen in love with. Don't let your insecurities sabotage a good thing.
Insecurities. We all have them whether physical, finances, material, or other. Regardless, nothing can kill a potentially great situation than relationship insecurity. We all have insecurities but managing them is a key component for a happy, healthy, and successful relationship. Aaron Marino of alpha m. presents ten tips to overcome relationship insecurity.
1. Don't judge your current relationship based on past relationship - don't make the current pay for the deeds of the past.
2. Don't confusion imagination with reality - don't read into everything. The best way to squash this is to encourage open and honest conversations from the beginning, when things are 'good'.
Don't let your mind play tricks on you!
3. Stop trying to mind read
4. Once you ask, don't keep asking! - once you're there, the relationship is over from the persistent pestering.
5. Your relationship needs room to breathe - if you are constantly standing over top of the relationship, you'll smother it. You need to have your own things going on including outside interests and friends. You are individuals that came together.
6. Relationships aren't always roses and puppies - the new relationship is like walking on air. It doesn't last, however. You can't maintain that level of emotional intensity. You'll have ebbs and flows. Don't bail on the 1st sign of trouble! Keep nurturing and working, and it'll work itself out if it's supposed to.
7. Do not snoop! - if you reach that point, you'll never stop because you'll never trust them! You can misread something and turn it into a situation.
8. Go with your gut (instincts)
9. You are responsible for your happiness and only your happiness.
10. Relationships are supposed to feel good where you feel better when you're with this person.
I used to be a shy / awkward guy growing up and now I feel uncomfortable when I'm with someone and there is silence also I always have a feeling that I should be the one doing all the talking otherwise the other person is gonna get bored and they won't like my company. This exact thing is happening to me right now with my girlfriend, we've been together for 3 months now and the first 2 months it was great but now sometimes I seem to run out of topics to talk about and seem to bore her so I get the feeling that she would rather be with a guy who is funny and makes her laugh and she is kinda avoiding me and this drives me nuts. Idk what to do, how does one stop being boring ?
I trust my boyfriend more than anything but is it understandable for me to get upset if he tells me he has a habit of looking at other women's body parts and I know it can be a guy thing but he said it's a habit he can't stop? I'm not gonna leave him but him saying that stuff makes me feel insecure, we've talked about it and he told me he would stop doing it I just have to trust him that he won't do it anymore. I just don't see how it's a habit he can't stop
PLEASE READ AND HELP ME PLEASE ANYONE!!
Ok ok ok. I feel you.
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years. Everything started out great as normal, but then about 1 1/2 years in, things stared to change, my girlfriend starting getting really insecure about me, she always though I was looking for others and yeah there were times I was a douche bag, but then I came reality and changed my ways, and everything was great again! It was refreshing seeing how she came up to my level and I came down to hers. But then, things started to go bad again.
Idk if I was too nice and I have no idea what made her do this, but she went to a party. And I was ok with it, and she drank (which she told me) and I was also kind of worried because she's in college, and I know what happens when college kids start drinking. But she told me and I was alright. What happened the next week is I went through her phone... I found videos of her taking shots and drinking more than she told me too. And that crushed me! Not that she drank but that she lied!! Idk why, why did she do that? She said she didn't want me to be upset, but even when I confronted her about it SHE STILL LIED! We eventually moved on, but there still had been times since then when I caught her in lies, but they aren't huge lies. I'm fully confident that she has never cheated on me. like I truly do love her, and I really think she loves me, it's just my insecurities now are ruining us! I want to change so bad, but it's hard! Any tips?? She says she just wants some trust, and she swears in the Bible that she'll never cheat on me and she'll be honest. I believe that we can fix it though... it all starts with rebuilding trust. But how??
PLEASE HELP, how can I fix it?? Is there hope?
I'm lowkey in the same boat. I 100% believe my girl and I know she's not and won't cheat. But she too lies about some little things here and there and hides her online friends almost? I don't know why but it's killing me too, because I don't get it.
Great vid but, I don’t know I still feel insecure like why did she choose me like why me I’m not like these other guys I just want to feel different I love her but I’m scared that one day I’ll find out I was right about her 😞😭
"You are responsible for your happiness and only your happiness."
I disagree with this, when you are in a relationship you are responsible for a good bit of your SO's happiness, now that doesn't mean you should be trying to make him/her happy in an unnatural way all the time but you should make an effort now and then, it's just that it should be important to you if he/she and the relationship itself is important to you. You shouldn't have to try to make your SO happy all the time for the relationship to work though, it should come more naturally more often than not, but all I'm trying to say is that you should both be responsible for and care about each others happiness to at least some degree, and not just about your own, to do otherwise is overly self centered.
(sorry for bad english)
So I had my first girlfriend, as I had very low self-esteem, I was also very indecure. Even tho I really tried to trust her as much as I could, I just couldn't. She was whole time meeting new guys on internet, speaking about them, later she even got tinder "for fun". Always when I said it really hurts, all she said "calm down, dont crap urself" which well... Wasn't helping me too much. After 9months of relationship I decided to break, she begged me for 3 hours to not break...(i broke with her anyway, cuz she isn't a person that changes for someone) The story is veeeery longer, but what I want to say is that, if you love your partner and you know he is insecure : talk with them, say them how super they are, why you love them etc, this would really help them.
How do you find good the balance between being responsible for my happiness and making my partner feel happy? Because you know, when we love someone we do things to make them happy too. I'm not sure what's okay and what's not okay/
[Sharing my story]
(sorry for the massive paragraph / short essay!)
For two weeks at the time of writing, I went through really digging into myself and realized the core of a lot of my issues were various insecurities. I suffered from both friendship insecurity (how I was perceiving my friends caring about me or spending time with me and etc) and my relationship insecurity (I'm still a virgin and had not actually experienced things yet). The thing I did to help with the friendship insecurity was that I just slowed things down a bit and didn't dive in sharing. I kept telling myself it's okay to hold off on sharing heavy moments. Take my time. As for relationship insecurity. This took a while. I had to find my silver lining and it help me realize the insecurity I had was not as big as I thought it was.I still haven't found my silver lining with my friendship insecurity, but I got time. From my experience it really is true that what I worry about only becomes less significant when there's something more important you can compare it too. So for those going through insecurity moments, find something that's your silver lining and helps you!
I love this! I have had this problem with my boyfriend and most of the tips apply so hopefully I've got there in the nick of time. You make it so lighthearted and simple it gives everyone hope <3 Thank you :)
I got scared when I started suspecting my husband was cheating, he gave me so many reasons to.... so I got to know about SwifthackerjamesATgmailDOTCom this hacker helped me hack my husbands phone, I was able to spy his phone from my phone without him knowing, SwifthackerjamesATgmailDOTCom is the best trust me
I will make this clear. I am a young adult woman, never had a boyfriend in my life, and I got extremely insecure when I cared about my childhood friend-crush. Long story short. It didn't work out, he ghosted me. Which it is okay. He is living his life and I am living mine. But he made me care about him...once again, and a piece of me wished we worked it out. Lately, I had to tell myself, "I fell in love with the kid, but I don't know him as a man." That's the honest truth. I don't know him anymore, yet my heart yearns for him.
Somehow these videos are extremely helpful to see the guy's point-of-view. These videos are also therapeutic. With that being said, I will continue watching these videos until I gain my mental freedom.
Aaron, I want to say, "Thank you." For this channel and opening up these vulnerable topics.
And to my friend, take care, Anthony.
My fiancé and I use each other's phones and computers all the time, tends to be we pick up whichever gadget is handy to look up info on the web. This works because we know each other's friends, neither of us has anything to hide and we fully trust and tell each other everything, yet we're resepectful of each other's right to have private conversations with friends and family. Conversely, I think it's pretty suspicious if someone doesn't let their phone or laptop out of their sight and flips out if you go near it.
Aaron... thank you... but I need to ask you something real important...? What if the person is actually going behind your back and doing stuff...? What if all the doubts that we have is TRUE..? Then we’ll be wasting time while allowing the person to exploit you and finally hurt you... am I right...?
Is it normal to get jealous easily , if a girl you like who likes you back. Has Snapchat contacts like "My Sweet Prince" and "Cute Boy " saved on her phone even tho any if them aren't her boyfriend? I need a little enlightenment
Tip No 9: THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! Don't get me wrong, but sooooooo many men search for their luck in their (female) partners! Just DON'T! That's unhealthy and gives away a responsibility you, and ONLY you, have to fulfill! Find your own luck, because your partner only can make you happier, but not happy.
Wow, this made my day. I just had a crappy and toxic day and it was super awkward when my ex-crush and I were grouped in class. But this one, this changed the tide. Now I feel like I can go back out there with a brave face. Awesome vid +alpham
This video legit helped me so much, this has made me feel great about myself aswell as all of your other video’s, thankyou for being the support and holding the knowledge to help me through my insecure, sad little life
things ive learned to make a relationship be perfect is, good communication, trust, similar comfort levels, and enjoying each others company... relationship anxiety is 100% normal and every relationship has its ups, downs, and loops
I’ve screwed up my relationship with my ex by being to insecure. She called me out on it saying I’m not good enough and not manly enough, shit. I couldn’t trust her because she lied to me badly at the start of the relationship.
Winchestah thank u so much mate. The other day she reached out and contacted me and she asked if we could be friends and I said yes. Then one of her male friends who is a big headed twat. Believe it or not his bio on instagram is “not to be rude but you don’t mess with a rugby dude” I know how fucking cringy. He contacted me saying stop messaging jemma (my ex) or I’ll come and sort u out. So I txt jemma saying wtf is going on. The dude (cringy one) somehow knew some really private shit about me that only jemma would know about so I went ape shit with er saying why have u told everyone about this? This cunt gets pissy at me and calls me pathetic for starting beef with her. No way is that pathetic at all she is the asshole for sharing that info with everyone! Can’t believe her honestly. So I called her a fake cunt who dosen’t take responsibility for her actions and she told me to grow the fuck up and blocked me. So overall she is a fucking bitch who manipulated me and made me feel shit about my appearance (because I’m 5”7) and made me feel like a little boy, when actually I’m not and I know I’m not. And she tells her friends fake shit about me so they start to view me as this “pathetic boy”, it’s a joke I did so much for her :(
Um, dude. The relationship started on lies. It's not your fault. Type in "it's not your fault good will hunting" into youtube and watch that clip. There's no way a relationship started on lies (her fault) had a chance of succeeding. Also you don't want a dumb cunt who emasculates you like that. Get a kind, caring empathetic sweet feminine female.
Mate I juststarted a new relationship and I tust her 150% but cuz my ex treated me like crap I doubtedmy feelings for even though I know I love her but this vid has made me get over those feelings and go from being happy to spectacular so thanm you so so much mate best content maker ever !!!!!!
I want to share this list with my partner in my current relationship. I want him to know that I'm working on my issues (by following advice such as yours). I have a strong need to let him know what I'm working on. My instinct is to start changing my thoughts and actions, and not tell him that I'm working on it.
Should I shut up and try on the advice? If I share the list you offer (with him) am I risking shining a glaring spotlight on my insecurities?
You’re so right dude! Everything you said just turned back on me, I know I have insecurities I wish I didnt and from the things you said I’ve already made mistakes but I’ll be damned if I don’t turn it around. Thank you a ton
Thank you so much Alpha M for doing these amazing guidance videos. I am going through the toughest times of my life. I have been with my girlfriend for six years and I can’t thank you enough for your advice. I am feeling depressed but this videos are helping me out so much. Keep up the amazing work!
I have a question let’s say your insecurities are so bad at the point you think it’s a gut feeling but it really isn’t it’s just that you’re that paranoid and you trick yourself to thinking it is a gut feeling
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