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Harry Potter And The Crock Of Shit (The Jimquisition)

22703 ratings | 449180 views
http://www.patreon.com/jimquisition http://www.thejimquisition.com http://sharkrobot.com/collections/Jimquisition-merch Wow, you really do pay Warner Bros. or otherwise watch a helpless child get strangled. That's pretty much the perfect symbol for modern games. Let's see what one of the worst entertainment companies in the world has done with Harry Potter this time. __ Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimsterling Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jimsterling0 Jim’s Big Ego (No Relation): http://bigego.com/ Bandcamp of the Sax Dragon - https://carlcatron.bandcamp.com Nathan Hanover - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-8L7n7l11PJM6FFcI6Ju8A
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Text Comments (3259)
rbd11235 (10 hours ago)
Holy crap is that 12,000 gold for one item! Thank god they’ve lowered the prices significantly.
rbd11235 (10 hours ago)
My main complaint for the game is that the story isn’t even finished yet!
GGdps (1 day ago)
"Literally throttling a child for money" - Hahaha Jim, thank god for you.
rexi1414 (6 days ago)
Yeah i kind of found out when i downloaded about the 6th mobile game on my new phone, not even the app store worked on the old anymore... After that 6th game i found out, that 5 of it where only time-games as i call them now, where you had to wait time-bar's to fill them selves for any action to be taken, and offcourse you could always set the time to zero with real money in microtranactions where you could buy some ingame fucking currency with which you could reset actions then... So to play 6 hours you could spend up to 600€ to just be able to play... Nice new game industry...
Curtis 2005 (7 days ago)
🎵 This game is a scam and you really shouldn’t buy it only kids will buy it but you shouldn’t let them🎵 now just sing that with the Harry Potter theme and you now know where I am going with this.
Chi Pa Pa (7 days ago)
Just avoid games like that so Chungus doesn't have to suffer.
Jun123 (9 days ago)
WB is the publisher and Jam City is the developer.
Jun123 (9 days ago)
My name is Chungus Chungus.
Otaking Mikohani (13 days ago)
My mom "plays" this "game" because she's a Harry Potter fanatic. I feel so sorry for her...
Jun123 (13 days ago)
I wonder if the developer of "The Path" saw this video. 😹😹😹
Ashes the Undying (16 days ago)
Thank God for Jim.
Random Person (18 days ago)
Hogwarts misery is essentially pushing you away and actively encouraging you to stop playing the game via timers, while also actively pressuring and encouraging you to play the game via timed events. The Sims Freeplay did the exact same thing with its stupid missions and timed events that were impossible to complete unless you had no school or work and didn't sleep. This model in general is extremely shady and sleesy. I can at least understand having one or the other, even if I don't like it, but making you wait for timers while also giving a strict time limit is manipulative and forces the player to run on the app's twisted schedule.
Jakexbox69 (20 days ago)
sad that it has a 4.6 star rating on the app store.
metademetra (20 days ago)
Is it me or are games meant to be played for an hour or two instead of ten minutes?
Ross Heruth (20 days ago)
i'm in year 3. I personally use this game to learn patience. it works.
LE0NSKA (23 days ago)
what was this labor comment in the end about? what did they do?
Bijan Najibzadeh (23 days ago)
People actually defend this piece of shit? Biggest scam ever
jakub Karwowski (24 days ago)
Kappa
Danny Meegan (28 days ago)
Such wasted potential. You have one of the most popular IP in the world and you waste it on this shite? Just make a proper open world Harry Potter PS4/Xbone game! Everyone wants it and it’d sell like a motherfucker.
Str4t0sPh3rE (1 month ago)
How are games like this not banned from the market? This is waaaaay worse than Battlefront 2's initial fucked up Pay2Win shit.
Silenced Games (1 day ago)
Str4t0sPh3rE because since 2006 this has slowly become acceptable well before Battlefront 2 came out.
Redjed's Vlogs (1 month ago)
I’m gonna say Warner Bros.’s game division is worse, because they make bad product, and their movie division doesn’t.
Redjed's Vlogs (1 month ago)
Also, the books and movies aren’t directed to children as much as they go on, so I wouldn’t call it “a children’s book and movie property for children.”
Fatih Bilhaq (1 month ago)
JK Rowling: "I can't belive my hard works become a pure sh*t"
Muffelmugg (1 month ago)
I read something about this game online and saw that they used a raven as a symbol for House Ravenclaw, even though every decent fan knows it's actually an eagle. So, I told a friend of mine who is a fellow Harry Potter fan about that, and he linked me to this video. Thank goodness I watched it, I will not play this stupid game. I am ok-ish with having to wait for a while in a game because I've used all my energy. But this looks positively insidious. And they couldn't even bother to do their research! (yeah, I'm a ravenclaw, sue me)
H3rmit (1 month ago)
Don't play it. Move on.
Alukard TheDeathknight (1 month ago)
I'd rather be evil then some fucking pile of goody too shoo get fucked 9inch dildo game
Ghost 7702 (1 month ago)
“A dreidel with legs” my new favorite quote
onarionaa (1 month ago)
i love how people use the, "go and do something else for an hour while you wait...you shouldn't be playing video games all day anyway~" excuse. it's like, your conclusion is correct, but the ""GAME"" IS NOT A GAME IT'S ABSOLUTE SHIT
Dalton Bertolo (1 month ago)
Honestly, TellTale would make an excellent Harry Potter game
Some Random Dude (1 month ago)
You mean with choices that don't mean anything and outdated graphics and animations?
MystikAura (1 month ago)
Pay money to spend energy or watch a child being strangled for 20 minutes LMFAO that had me rolling in tears for at least 5 minutes after it was said
Jm 115 (1 month ago)
boglinwarts pisstory: the jimlosophers kidney stone
Victor Unbea (1 month ago)
Harry Potter: Hogwarts Microtransactions
Corthmic (1 month ago)
Games like this are the reason Lucky Patcher exists.
AngryNerdX (1 month ago)
How deep have the game industry sunken.
eric jackson (1 month ago)
magicka clone and asset flip https://store.steampowered.com/app/822110/Magika_Land_of_Fantasy/
Lukkiboi Tv (1 month ago)
I like the Warner Brothers ecstasy it's basically no amphetamine in it
todpolle (1 month ago)
I gave it a try and it's as bad as you said it was. I'm offended on the high scores this game has.
Asbestos Fish (1 month ago)
I wonder if good ol' J.K. will file a Cease & Desist? _we can only hope._
Raptorjesuslives (1 month ago)
I enjoyed this game at the start then the vine part came I had high hopes for this devastated
DPM (1 month ago)
Paid QTE mechanics. Wow!
Mallory Huston (1 month ago)
Sign this petition to change the game and end microtransactions! https://www.change.org/p/portkey-games-stop-harry-potter-hogwarts-mystery-microtransactions?recruiter=158851695&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition
Commander Sinclair (1 month ago)
I know right? Those Warner brother ass holes are holding Babylon 5, a beloved sci-fi classic, and not doing anything with it, no HD re-release or remasters. They don't even want to sell it to anyone else because they are afraid that if it does well with another company, they will be embarrassed.
PhazonSpear (1 month ago)
They misspelled practice at 7:05, by the way. Truly quality content here, folks.
Some Random Dude (1 month ago)
Actually, that's the verb from of practice in British English.
ekaruna42 (1 month ago)
“My character can’t smile because he LISTENED too hard!” I had to pause to finish laughing
XRXaholic (1 month ago)
This game is an excellent simulator of like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or extensive depression. Listening costs energy! Smiling costs energy! And now you're done for the day. Harry Potter and the Ten-Hour Nap.
Kaiyznn (1 month ago)
Never had I felt so strangled with a mobile game's in game purchases before. At least some games let you fuck around a bit before hitting a paywall. At that point I'd be well, I saw everything I need to see with this game - uninstalled. But this was on a whole new level.
JULIE LACY (1 month ago)
Gotta love the jim
Terastas (1 month ago)
7:08 You know, if the game actually did that, once word got around, downloads would probably skyrocket.
Dat Boi (1 month ago)
hi /hpgg/
Jax Hill (1 month ago)
Some movie tie-ins can be good. Shadow of Mordor/War doesn't count because it doesn't take place during The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings. Alien Isolation, and um...I actually Jim you're right. They do suck.
MR. AWESOME (1 month ago)
Games like this needs regulations, can't wait 'til they start regulating the entire gaming market. This is not good for children and I don't want my future kids to be playing such games and get addicted to these scummy practises.
Jack Hazardous (1 month ago)
I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going, devilsnare chan.
strubbery g (1 month ago)
don't forget WB animations, the makers of TTG and the upcoming Thundercats Roar... lazy copycats...
etherraichu (1 month ago)
You think All The Bravest was bad? Check this out: http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Final_Fantasy_Tactics_S No Matter how many times I try and find the game in that game, I fail.
Heir Of polio (1 month ago)
I can't stop thinking about jim sterling as lord buckethead
mjl1999 (1 month ago)
I like this app tbf, just a fun game to play every now and then
N-word Jim (1 month ago)
I generally don't object to cooldown management games, especially browser or mobile ones, as you can easily play them at work, keeping your brain occupied but not too distracted. However, I do mind having slimy f2p practices put in children's games. That's my only objection here. You can pop your energy, then go back to work until it refills, then pop some more. On that level, I don't mind those, or the browser strategy games. There's actually some pretty good ones, and they're all about cooldown management. I don't spend money on those games when I play them, because the cooldown is an integral part of the gameplay for me. If there was no way to skip the waits, those games would be the exactly same for me, and I'd enjoy them in the exact same fashion.
Boba Fett (1 month ago)
The best mobile game i played was mobile dead space
jaidadraco (1 month ago)
its kind of funny that this app is so terrible considering the fantastic beasts app game is actually okay
king of clubs (1 month ago)
As with star wars, or any ridiculous fandom, you get what you deserve.
GHB (1 month ago)
Wow, there’s already people hacking and cheating the game to bypass this monetization scheme. If you type in just the game’s title, the first listed other than only it’s name has the word “cheats” appended to it. That’ll teach a lesson to the free-to-wait industry that we don’t want this.
GHB (1 month ago)
7:26 I agree, if its a “game” you cannot play for free and instead wait, then there’s no point of even making this game, as games are designed to have gaming experience and entertainment, not wait.
Adrian Lorentzen (1 month ago)
I agree with everything here! Depsite that I find myself playing an energy based game and haven been for 3 years :P At least this one usually gives me more energy than I ever care to use *shrug*
Colin Davies (1 month ago)
Mobile Gaming was a mistake.
Dallas Walker (1 month ago)
All mobile games are like this. I used to play the transformers earth war game. I'm a big transformers fan, but that garbage waited much longer before it started telling you that you needed to buy crap to continue. I played it for about a week and never spent a dime.
MICRO-RAVE (1 month ago)
on form brother!!!
ObeyBunny (1 month ago)
What sucks is that my mobile cash-grab of a game aimed at children wouldn't even let you turn off the game and do something else. The game didn't mark the passage of time unless the game was open, draining battery.
leprechaunluck24 (1 month ago)
If they did a Bully Version of hogwarts I would play the shit out of that game.
Bobby Sharpe (1 month ago)
Rowling should have sued portkey for criminal destruction of private property
Otterino (1 month ago)
Harpy Parter: Fuckwits Shittery
Infinite Domain (2 months ago)
Wow this is super gross
Bradley Rocket (2 months ago)
Wow you must really love the sound of your own voice don't you?
Lord Dessik (2 months ago)
This is the excuse I give people when they comment on my resting bitch face: I used up all my energy listening.
Tree (2 months ago)
Why is this game getting heat from everyone? This problem should have been addressed in mainstream media after we were first taken advantage of by micro-transactions and their "limits" years ago. I find it strange that people are speaking out like this is an abomination of the IP. I mean... is anyone really surprised? Consumers let this happen for years now.
QAMan23 (2 months ago)
One point Jim, HP hasn't been a children's/young people's IP since book 3 of the series. It started very juvenile, then about the third book or so, got VERY dark and VERY adult. The shift in tone was actually quite startling and definitely brought the book series OUT of the child/YA demographic.
dmt Handmade (2 months ago)
You should tag Professor Rowling about this on Twitter.
AwsomenessRain (2 months ago)
What’s the Warner bros labour thing he talked about? I can’t find anything about it when I search because I don’t know what to look for. Anyone in the know?
AwsomenessRain (1 month ago)
yikes
RAZGRIZ9718 (1 month ago)
AwsomenessRain https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hollywoodreporter.com/amp/news/new-zealand-poised-repeal-anti-union-hobbit-law-1052848
Milan Tarbuk (2 months ago)
Song name!?!
Leanne Osborne (2 months ago)
came here from a comment on the Hogwarts Mystery promo facebook post 😂
luissapicho (2 months ago)
Fuck i miss the early days of mobile gaming, so much promise that was killed by greed
Arialz (2 months ago)
I HATE games that use this system! Shadow Fight 2 was really good, but it lost a player because they couldn't resist putting this new "energy" trend in their game.
Nicolas M (2 months ago)
Wait wait wait... "mobile gaming" is still a thing? I thought everyone realized it was just a pile of cashgraby shit and moved on to good old real game already. Ho, and also, Harry Potter is overrated.
Christopher Roche (2 months ago)
What’s he referring to at the end bit, about the movie division “circumventing label rules”? I don’t really follow movie news, and google didn’t help much.
RAZGRIZ9718 (1 month ago)
Christopher Roche. Labor not label. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.hollywoodreporter.com/amp/news/new-zealand-poised-repeal-anti-union-hobbit-law-1052848
Yurikan (2 months ago)
I just think the game industry as it exists is unsustainable. The issue is that the game publishers are trying to sustain a sense of growth by relying on competitive sports, gambling, and clever omissions to build additional revenue. None of those three things promote the important aspects of game development. The end game these companies are pushing is a software farm that just runs old ideas into the ground. Magic the Gathering went through this: They literally brought in Richard Garfield for one set, and the entire game just got revitalized after trying to over charge for products and printing the wrong cards for ages. Not saying that a game needs to have some super innovative control scheme that forces everyone to buy special motion controls to play, but they need to focus more on the basic ideas of what the game is trying to do. Making another Call of Duty clone and having devs worry about "how balanced the numerics are between firearms" along with map design isn't going to cut it just like how this sad excuse of a mobile game is just playing up the farmville / Dungeon Keeper paywall thing. Could have done something interesting, instead they blew it and made it a piece of fake garbage.
Princess Gamer (2 months ago)
Thank god for Jim Sterling!
jackshitt (2 months ago)
Harry Potter : chronic fatigue
Jakub Miler (2 months ago)
What does he ment by "certain labor rules" at the end of the video?
Dervinion (2 months ago)
Stuff like this disgusts me.
Lemeres (2 months ago)
...I thought of a (corrupt) way to salvage this while "increasing player engagement and receptiveness to buying in game currency"- put in minigames instead of just 'pay energy'. You would instead pay energy in order to activate the minigames. If you fail the minigame, you waste your energy. You would be given JUST enough energy to finish the level if you do it perfectly. If you fail even once, you either have to replay the entire level... OR pay for a microtransaction. Also, obviously, you throw some bastard minigames in there to trip the player up. Real "1980's quarter eating arcade machine" stuff. If you make people pay only due to their own failures (even if you rigged the game), then it is much easier to convince people to play up- its "their own fault" afterall. And the later in the level you are, the more time/investment you stand to lose if you fail.
Zeusselll (2 months ago)
Jokes on WB. The reason i play this is JUST so i can see a kid being strangled. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Danielle Wolfe (2 months ago)
I was honestly excited for this game but after a day I deleted it.
Scabeiathax Novastorm (2 months ago)
The Avatar game wasnt terrible
Kaiser Tyranny (2 months ago)
Am I the only one completely unsurprised that Jim is a Slytherin?
Kaiser Tyranny (2 months ago)
My name is Chungas Chungas!
Danny Caracciolo (2 months ago)
Requiring massive amounts of energy to smile? That just sounds like British people in general.
Also the cheeky cunts make Empire Builders like how they build everything. It's so fucking shit and they did that to Pirates of The Caribbean movies.
Taxtro (2 months ago)
The target audience are not children, Jim, but women in their twenties or thirties, who grew up with the books.
Taellor (2 months ago)
This reminds me of the episode of South Park with the Terrence and Philip mobile game.
warhammernerd52 (2 months ago)
Can there be a separate video of your Harry Potter theme? It's brilliant
Slunq (2 months ago)
Brilliant
isomemory (2 months ago)
Hooooly shit! There are people that actually downvoted this masterpiece? How in the fu..... WHY?

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